Table of Contents
Foreword Dick Cavett ix
Foreword to the First Edition: The Seriousness of Being Humorous by Groucho Marx xi
Introduction xiii
Acknowledgments xii
Editor's Note xiv
A Note from the Author: Marx of Humor xivii
I The Gus Sun Also Rises
Up from Pantages 3
We Stand Corrected 7
Press Agents I Have Known 9
The return of the Four Mad Prodigals 13
Bad Days Are Good Memories 16
Mackerel for Xmas 28
Why Harpo Doesn't Talk 31
II Homicode On The Range
My Poor Wife 37
Holy Smoke 43
Buy It, Put It Away, and Forget About It 48
Our Father and Us 51
Life Begins for Father 59
Uncle Jullus 61
Sh-h-h-h! 64
The Truth About Captain Spalding 69
III Forward Mark
What This Country Needs 73
Yes, We Have No Petrol 79
How to Build a Secret Weapon 82
Your Butcher Is Your Best Critic 87
Groucho Marx Gives Kidding-on-the-Square Pitch for Hosp Shows 90
How to Be a Spy 92
Standing Room Only 97
Many Happy Returns 101
IV Jamison, Take A Letter
A Lift from Groucho Marx 107
That Marx Guy, Again 110
Groucho Marx Insists 'Variety' Plug His Book 112
Groucho Marx Rebuttals 114
Dear Simon & Schuster 116
Groucho Marx's Back-to-the-Soil Movement Flivs 117
Groucho's New Idea 120
Letterature 121
And That's Why Groucho Is Not Going Into Vaude 123
Groucho Clears It Up 125
And That's Why I Won't Imitate the Four Hawaiians 127
An Apology 129
My 24 Worth 131
V Marx Remarks
My Life in Art 135
What Is Wrong with the Theater 137
This Theatrical Business 139
One of the Marks to Shoot At 142
Movie Glossary 145
Night Life of the Gods 147
Just Another Anniversary 151
Grouchoisms 153
Run for Your Career, Boys 156
I Never Could Grow a Moustache 158
Whenever I Think of Scotch, I Recall the Immortal Words of My Brother Harpo 162
VI The Schweinerei
When An Act's Successful and The Small Time's Season 169
Alibis 174
When I Was Young and Charming 176
Ahead of the Times 183
Heywood Broun 186
The Psychology of Psocks 190
Author in Search of Characters 193
Tales of Hoffman: Letter to Chico 196
How to Crank a Horse 198
J. Perelman and Al Hirschfeld 202
Light and Airy 206
How to Entertain a Guest 209
TV or Not TV 211
Groucho's Zany Yule Review of Three Slap-Happy Volumes 215
Humor from Silent Screen to TV 219
Letter to Woody Allen 229
A Letter from Groucho 232
The Odyssey of the Goats 234
Poem from Animal Crackers (1928) 239
Groucho Marx Chronology 241
Bibliography 249
