Table of Contents

Preface xv

Acknowledgments xvii

Who Wrote This Book: Bob Barrie, Rick Boyko, David Droga, Mark Fenske, Neil French, Sally Hogshead, Mike Hughes, Shane Hutton, Janet Kestin, Brian Millar, Tom Monahan, Chuck Porter, Bob Scarpelli, Chris Staples, Lorraine Tao, Nancy Vonk xix

Introduction: The View from Down Here: Ignacio Oreamuno 1

Part I Breaking into Advertising

1 Was I Really Put on This Earth to Do Ads? 5
If you can’t get an internship until after school, how can you know? / I really enjoy it, but sometimes I want to shoot myself. What do I do? / Am I talented enough for this industry?

2 School Daze 9
A CD told me my school is a waste of money. Why go to school at all? / What are great copywriting schools? / Do I need a pricey portfolio school for “polished” ads? Or would you hire me based on good, unpolished pieces?

Mark Fenske: It’s all about the osmosis, baby.

3 What’s a Good Ad, Anyway? 15
Is reactionary advertising a good thing? Smart? Stupid? Evil? / Why do some award-winning ads not really say anything? / Do ads have to be hilarious to be effective? / Should ads be mostly in good taste or closer to the edge? / Shouldn’t ads portray good examples to kids and promote a healthy environment? / What do you think about sex in advertising?

Brian Millar: How to do great creative work without being clever or talented.

4 Portfolio Preparation: Like Giving Birth, Only More Painful 28
I’m the star in most of my ads. Is this a bad thing? / As a writer, do I need tight comps in my book? / What’s the right number of ads to have in my book? / What are some products you like seeing in student books? / How do you feel about “leave-behinds”? / How do you know when your book’s ready? / How do you make your portfolio wow an audience? / After two years as an AD, how much of my book can still be spec? / How many media should I show in my book? / Do you have to understand an ad right away? / Is it best to show all campaigns? / Different CDs like different ads. Who do I listen to?

Sally Hogshead: Don’t send a fake foot to “get your foot in the door,” and other things to consider when putting your portfolio together.

5 Getting a Job in This Lifetime: It Can Be Done 38
Every CD says, “Keep in touch.” Isn’t that BS? / Are Web portfolios as effective as sending your actual book? / Should you drop off your book completely unannounced? / How do you look for a job without your current employer finding out? / What chance does a junior have at a job in such tough times? / Is it plausible for a junior team to make a move together? / What are the best cities for cutting-edge advertising? / Should I hold out for good job out of school or take anything that moves? / How far is too far when trying to get a CD’s attention?

How I Got My First Job, by Bob Barrie, Bob Scarpelli, Lorraine Tao, Nancy Vonk, Shane Hutton, Chris Staples, Janet Kestin, Mike Hughes, Rick Boyko, and Tom Monahan.

6 Internships: Purgatory, Rip-Off, or Free Education? 59
How do you make the most of an internship? / If I do too many internships, do I get labeled the cheap labor guy? / Where do you put internships on your resume? / As an intern, how can I set up real job interviews when I work all day?

Shane Hutton: How can I exploit thee? Let me count the ways.

7 What Place is Right for Me? 68
How can I find a nurturing environment instead of a backstabbing one? / Does your first job determine your career path?

David Droga: My two Australian/Singaporean/English/American cents/pence.

Part II You’re the Chosen One. Now What?

8 Money—Not That You Care about That 75
What’s the average salary for a creative director? / When do I ask for a raise—and how? / Do you think the big CD salaries are justified? / Does a lack of TV experience affect your value?

Chuck Porter: Money. How much? How soon?

9 Fear and Self-Loathing: Snap Out of It 81
I’m scared and insecure. How can I have ideas when I feel like this? / Every professional I’ve met intimidates me. How will I make it in the real world, competing against the very best? / I feel like I’m going to barf before every presentation. How do I get out of presenting work?

10 Brainstorming Techniques (You’re Going to Need Them) 85
Any remedies for writer’s block? / I get blocked when I work in groups. What can I do when I’m never alone?

Tom Monahan: Brainstorming. Or, making ideas happen, as opposed to waiting for them.

11 Awards. Yes, They Matter. How the Judges Decide 90
What if you don’t win an award in your first year? / Are there two types of agencies, ‘suit’ agencies and those that win awards? / Do awards mean more money? / What makes an ad award-winning?

Bob Barrie: Orson Welles never won an Oscar, but you can win a Telly.

12 Boss Problems: Try Not to Kill Him. Or Sleep with Him 100
I think my CD hates me but not my partner. What do I do? / How do I avoid getting involved with my hot CD? / How do I know if my CD’s standards are high enough?

13 Partner Problems: Do You Need Counseling, a Divorce, or a Gun? 104
How do I tell my CD that I’m better than my partner? / What if I want to kill my partner? / Should I leave if I’m in love with my partner?

Lorraine Tao: This is my partner, Elspeth. No, not that kind of partner, my “creative partner.”

14 Copywriting 110
Should I write long-copy ads if CDs don’t read them? / Do writers get credit if the solution is visual?

Mike Hughes: Don’t you dare read this: You’ll spoil the research.

Bob Scarpelli: Radio, can you see it?

15 Art Direction 119
Was it easier to learn typography in the old days? / What’s the hardest part of being an art director?

16 Account Executives: They’re People, Too 122
What makes a good account person? / How can I keep my creative team’s spirits up? / How good is the job security for account executives? / How can I coach creatives to stay on strategy?

17 Identity Crisis 127
Can I market myself as an art director and a copywriter if I’m good at both? / Can you get hired just as a creative and then figure out what you want to do? / I want to be an art director, but I’m told I should be a copywriter. Help me. / Can a DR person make the big switch to general advertising? / Should I change jobs every couple of years to find my true interest?

Neil French: You know how to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

18 Am I in the Wrong Place? 136
If I’m not getting great assignments, should I make tracks? / What do I do if I’m getting good work, but rotten money? / Are all agencies nasty and backstabbing? Or is it just my place?

19 Ethics in Advertising: Not Necessarily an Oxymoron 139
Do I have to be a jerk to do good work? / is it just my tough luck if someone steals my idea? / How do you deal with office gossip? / Should an agency fire a client if they’re not making any money?

20 CD Life (Be Careful What You Wish For) 147
What’s the difference between a good CD and a great one? / How do you avoid hiring assholes? / What do you do to keep teams motivated? / What’s the best route to becoming a CD? / Is CD life all glamour or mostly pressure and responsibility?

21 Women: The Vanishing Act 152
Can I have a baby and not lose my status in the agency? / Do you find it peculiar when feminists choose advertising as a career? / Is it crazy for me to want to be a CD some day? I keep hearing that the business is changing for women, but I sure don’t see it. / Do you think there’ll ever be a woman Lee Clow?

22 Age(ism): Is 39 the New 65? 156
Where do creatives go when they get old? / How old is too old to get into advertising? / Can you stay in the game till your golden years?

Rick Boyko: Avoiding future shock.

23 Staying Sane in an Insane Business 163
I’m still in school and feel burned out. What if I can’t handle the real world? / Is it normal to work late every night? / My ideas are never good enough for my boss. Am I a hack?

Chris Staples: I blame it all on Darren Stevens.

24 Miscellaneous: The Best Chapter of Any Book 169
What if I want to tell my coworkers to eff off—/ How does one master the art of the schmooze? / Are headhunters helpful for a junior? / How should I feel when I did a bad ad? / Should I consider pharmaceutical advertising? / I have a great idea for a beer ad. How do I pitch it?

25 Strangest Questions: Maybe Even Better Than Miscellaneous 174
Is writing publicity for a company that deals in adult film/toys damaging to a person’s career? / How do I interest an agency in my cat, who does incredible tricks? / I’m afraid my creativity has something to do with my sexual orientation. Any thoughts?

Part III But Wait, There’s More! The Gurus Share Years of Collective Wisdom, and Embarrassing Photos

26 What I Know Now That I Wish I’d Known Then 179
Brian Millar / Bob Barrie / Chris Staples / Chuck Porter / Janet Kestin / Lorraine Tao / Mike Hughes / Nancy Vonk / Tom Monahan / Rick Boyko / Shane Hutton / Neil French

27 What I Look for in a Junior 186
Bob Barrie / Bob Scarpelli / Brian Millar / Chris Staples / Chuck Porter / Janet Kestin / Lorraine Tao / Mike Hughes / Nancy Vonk / Neil French / Rick Boyko / Sally Hogshead / Shane Hutton / Tom Monahan

28 A Century Ago, We Were Juniors, Too 192
Embarrassing junior photos and early ads of the contributors Take the quiz!

Appendix: The Inspiration Grab Bag 201

Index 207